I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
