Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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