My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
