just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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