One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
