so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
