The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
