So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
well you can't waste a boner
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's even glitter on my cock...
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