i may or may not be watching the land before time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
