It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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