Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
