Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
