so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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