I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
