I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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