Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
