ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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