i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
