I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just puked most of my soul out..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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