Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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