Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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