We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
