you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
