Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
