Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
