And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
