i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
