Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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