that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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