12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize