I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
