dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How external is "for external use only"?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
