I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
did i just pee glitter
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
