I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
