First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
