hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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