well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
