I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
