and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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