after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
