you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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