It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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