Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
