I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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