you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
