They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i was born a porn star she said
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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