Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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