we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
