hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
