Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
