So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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