I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
These tits shall not be calmed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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