you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
