so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
