No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize