Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
