yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
