The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
